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Jokes
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Author:  Gwydion [ Sep 10th, '15, 06:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

No, we all are different from you, maybe you are the only one normal. ;)

Author:  Ronmaggi [ Sep 11th, '15, 00:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

That's never a good sign, mate!

Author:  ROB_K [ Dec 15th, '15, 06:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Thought this was interesting.

To show that Classical Chinese was becoming a impractical language. Yuen Ren Chao made a poem using only the sylabol Shi. It sound like gibberish when spoken, but writen out it is easy to understand.

« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »
Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.

Simplified Chinesei
《施氏食狮史》
石室诗士施氏,嗜狮,誓食十狮。
氏时时适市视狮。
十时,适十狮适市。
是时,适施氏适市。
氏视是十狮,恃矢势,使是十狮逝世。
氏拾是十狮尸,适石室。
石室湿,氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭,氏始试食是十狮。
食时,始识是十狮尸,实十石狮尸。
试释是事。

Translation
« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »
In a stone den was a poet with the family name Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.

Author:  dr bee [ Dec 18th, '15, 08:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

One Christmas the family came home to celebrate. All four kids in the family were successful and had become wealthy doctors and lawyers. Over the break they were eating out and talking about what great gifts they had given their old mother, living in a far away city, for Christmas.

The first brother says: "I have built a big new house for mum. "

The second brother says :"I spent one hundred thousand dollars to have a cinema built in her new house. "

The third says : " I ordered my regular Mercedes dealer to deliver a luxurious convertible to her "

The fourth brother says : "Well, Mom loves to read the Bible and you know how bad her eyesight has become. I recently came across a priest, who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests well over 12 years to teach him all that but nowadays that parrot’s so good that you only need to say the chapter and the verse and he recites it. I had to promise to give one hundred thousand dollars to the Church every year for the next twenty years, but well, mum is worth every penny.

Christmas is over and mum sends her boys a thank you note: On the first she writes "John, the house that you have built for me, is so big that I use just one room, although I have to clean the whole house. Nevertheless, many thanks ! "

The second was told : "Charley, that cinema has got Dolby surround and 50 people fit in easily. Wonderful ! But all my friends and acquaintances are dead, I'm deaf and almost blind, so I never get there. But thanks for the good idea ! "

On the third: "Pete, I'm too old to go on a trip and my groceries are delivered at home so the Mercedes is rusting outside. But it was a nice idea. Many thanks ! "

And the fourth : "My dear Hank, you're the only son that gives enough about me to think of something that I really enjoy! The chicken was delicious ! Thank you very much ! "

Author:  earthbound [ Jan 15th, '16, 18:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Found this posted on facebook today... I like it... :)

Quote:
Dear Death,

Donald Trump is also 69.

yours sincerely,

Alex.

P.S
As you seem to be on some sort of New Year efficiency drive it's probably worth noting that you're 15 years late popping round to see Mr Murdoch

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